Two years ago, I had installed a wire basket on my patio to hold a wi-fi mesh pod for extending internet reach. It looked nice and worked great. I could roam around anywhere in my garden and stay connected.
In Wisconsin, where I live, winters are long. Every year we look forward to the end of winter in March and beginning of spring. We can come out on the patio, breathe fresh air, feel soothing warmth of the morning sun, watch grass grow, see flowers bloom, and hear birds sing.
One morning in early May, I noticed a few twigs hanging from my Wi-Fi basket. Next day, there were some more. We soon realized that a finch has discovered the basket and decided to build a nest in it. We started watching her progress every day. Finch parents work together to setup nests. It is a small bird and so are their nests. They can put 3-4 eggs in one.
I was curious to know what happens inside the nest. I figured out a way. I stood on the edge of patio door from where I could raise my iPhone selfie camera and position it above the nest. It worked. I could see in there.
I googled to search for birds nesting and hatching process. There was plenty of information. Males and females work together to create nest. Then female lays eggs and incubates them. Male obtains food for the young who fly in 14-16 days.
For the first couple of days, there was nothing in our bird’s nest. Then eggs appeared on the 4th day. I did not look inside for several days as mama was sitting on eggs all the time. Papa bird was also hanging close by.
A few days later, mama started flying around. I suspected something has changed inside. I saw an opportunity one day and looked. Eggs had hatched and there were three tiny babies inside. I could make out yellow beaks and some feathers. We were wondering how long it will be before they get big enough and fly away.
Then, one day, tragedy happened. A Blue Jay had discovered the finch nest. Blue jays are known for raiding nests.
My neighbor saw him first and called me to tell that a blue jay is lurking and may attack the nest. I tried to put a protective screen around it, but could not do it. There was no way to attach it without disturbing nest. So, we just sat on the patio to keep an eye on the predator. But we couldn’t do it forever.
Blue jay waited patiently. After we left patio, he attacked the nest. He grabbed one baby and took it away. Other two were also wounded and lying in there. I was horrified and really upset. I took the nest down and buried it. Mama bird came and sat on a branch close by. She kept staring where the nest was and cried for the longest time. She kept coming for 2-3 days, looking for her nest. Her wailing was really disturbing. Then, she was gone.
I myself could not sleep for several days. I felt helpless and frustrated that I couldn’t save the babies. It reminded me of the time almost nine years ago when I had to let my beloved cat, Princess, go. She was eighteen years old, and the time had come for her.
My neighbor tried to comfort me. He has been a farmer and has seen it all. He said, “Anil, this is the circle of life. That’s the way it goes. Move on.” And so I did.
But this is not the end of story, only a brief pause, then continuation.
After the tragic finch nest incident, I covered Wi-Fi basket with a flat top so that birds couldn’t get in it.
Therefore, I was surprised a few days later to see twigs dangling again from the top of my Wi-Fi basket! What is going on, I wondered. The basket was completely sealed with the flat top.
It seems, a Robin had this time discovered this spot and liked it to build her nest. Robin is a bigger bird than a Finch. Their nests are constructed different as well. They need to be sturdier to accommodate more weight. Robins add mud to their nests along with twigs to make them stronger. Also, they build their nests on a flat surface. Obviously, she liked this spot.
Once again, I started my daily watch to monitor the new nest’s progress. In a way, it was redemption – a second chance. It took Robin 3-4 days to build the nest. It was almost five inches high and four inches in diameter.
I googled to check Robins’ nest building process. I discovered that Robins build
nest in 3-4 days and then lay 3 to 4 eggs in it over a period of 4-8 days. I waited. I did not want to peak in too early, and wanted to be extremely careful in doing so.
About a week later, I positioned my iPhone selfie camera on top of the nest. I saw two beautiful blue eggs – the famous Robin’s Blue. The feeling is hard to describe, a combination of serenity, peace, and joy.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could live our entire lives feeling that way? I suppose it is possible if we really want to and can stay away from temptations and desires the world lures us into.
You must be wondering what happened next. Unfortunately, it did not have a happy ending either. One day, Robin just disappeared and didn’t come back. She had abandoned the nest. We don’t know why. Again, google research suggested that sometimes Robins do that, if they think eggs or the environment is not viable. We waited and waited. Finally, we had to take this nest down as well.
There are lessons too in this story. This is the reality of life. We cannot control its flow. It goes, the way it goes. It gives us moments of anticipation, excitement, joy, exhilaration, and heartaches as well at times. We can’t pick and choose. We have to take it all, the way it comes. We should not get too attached to anything. All comes and goes! Live every moment. Find peace in it. Enjoy it. We never know what may happen next.
I had started writing a small blog post about my one week visit to Pench to see my friend Gary. But soon after I began, the flood gates opened and the good old memories started gushing out. My mind went back in time and I realized that I am, in fact, reliving the good old times, like a living dream. I did not want to wake up or stop. I let my thoughts flow and go wherever they would.
Old wines take time to mature. They must prove themselves and withstand the test of time. If they are truly worth their essence, they excel, and their taste is exceptional.
Sometimes it takes me a while to put my pen on the paper. Either the business of life interferes, or the chaos of it tempers the mood.
I had a wonderful visit with Gary and Rashmi at their resort in Pench, from Feb 25 to Mar 5th this year. This was my 2nd visit there; the previous one was five years ago in 2019. At that time, I had not seen them for almost twenty years. We have been friends for a long time – since 1980. In 1984, our lives took different paths. But throughout the years we moved parallel like two stars in the galaxy, on their own trajectories.
Suddenly, we reconnected in April 2019. I had a phone call from another mutual friend, Sudhir Gupta. The three of us have a long and magical history. We truly lived in the good old days from 1980 to 1984. Then our paths diverged. I came to America to resume my studies, and Gary and Sudhir got busy with their business ventures. I did not connect with anyone in India for 10 years, until 1994. Why did that happen? That is another story, for another day.
The Beginnings
Today, I am reminiscing about the good old days. In 1980, both Gary and I were working at Lintas in Mumbai as market researchers. Those were golden days. We travelled all over the country conducting marketing surveys. When we were in Mumbai, we enjoyed simple things like street food, old monk rum, or hanging out at 5-star hotels Oberoi at Nariman Point, or Taj Mahal in Colaba. One of my favorites was Shamiana Coffee Shop at the Taj and their South Indian Brahmin coffee. There was something about that brew that was special. I am a coffee fanatic for over 50 years, but I have not been able to find the same South Indian Brahmin coffee anywhere again. That taste still lingers in my memory.
We hardly had any money those days. The research work we were doing was freelance and on projects basis. I did not pay much. But no one could have guessed it! We were living like princes on top of the heap, full of hope and promises, and amid the excitement of life.
Every so often, we went to Delhi on research projects. Gary’s wife Rashmi comes from there. Sudhir Gupta is her cousin. He lived at 877 East Park Road, Karol Bagh, in a beautiful old bungalow, facing a park. When we visited Delhi, Gary stayed there. This was an old family home inherited from the grandparents. It had a very nice roof top terrace to hang out. We often got up there in the evenings, had few drinks, and enjoyed the cool breeze. Sudhir’s dad and one of his brothers lived in that large house, and other family members often visited and stayed there as well. At that time, Sudhir was still studying in Delhi University at the Hindu College. We immediately took on to each other and formed a close bond.
From then on, 877 East Park became the center of our universe. Whenever we were in Delhi, all of us spent time together there. After finishing our business during the day, we got together in the evening. We spent many wonderful evenings there. We enjoyed lots of whiskey, kebabs, Rogan Josh, ghazals and laughs. Not a single care in the world.
Then, as always happens, things change. Here, it happened unexpectedly. The forks appeared in the road, and we all went in different directions. Gary and I did not have a permanent job in Mumbai. Suddenly, different opportunities came for both of us. I ended up taking a job in Saudi Arabia, and Gary found an opportunity in Iraq. Sudhir also started his own ventures in India.
Anil 2.0
All this happened in 1982. I spent two years in Saudi Arabia. While there, I decided to return to school. I had always wanted to earn an MBA degree but couldn’t do it in India for various reasons. This time, I decided to pursue it in the USA. I applied to many universities there and was accepted in several. I ended up coming to the University of Wisconsin at Whitewater in 1984. This ended up being a turning point in my life. It was, as though, one life was ending and a new one was beginning. It was the beginning of Anil 2.0.
I arrived in the USA on August 23, 1984. I landed at the Chicago airport. From there, I took a bus to UW-Whitewater campus. It was a difficult transition to return to school as a freshman at age 31, after already having lived a working life for many years. But I was committed. There was no going back. I burnt my canoe. I had to succeed. I cut off contact with everyone in India and my previous life. I did not go back to India for 10 years, until after completing my studies in 1992 with a Bachelor in Marketing and a dual MBA in Decision Support Systems.
I had made plans to visit India in the summer of 1994. I had a good job with US West, a major telecommunications company in Denver, Colorado. I had already booked my airline ticket. Then, 10 days before I was to arrive in India, my dad passed away. I had not seen him in 10 years. We had a lot of unfinished business and issues. They probably would never have been resolved anyway, but it was a very sad ending, nonetheless.
I moved on with my life. I immersed myself in my work. I got married and settled in the Silicon Valley in California. I worked there for 20 years until 2016. At one point, I was regarded one of the best database marketing experts in the country. My work was well rewarded. Now it was time for a change, again. Everything was changing. Internet was firmly embedded in business. New technologies were replacing the old ones everywhere. Web marketing was replacing the good old direct marketing as well. Google and Facebook had appeared suddenly and were now everywhere. It was time for change.
Another Chapter Begins
Now, it was time for another big decision. I had just turned 63. Should I continue working or change course and do something else. Perhaps, move to another place with a slow pace, travel, pick up a hobby or something. I have been studying the subject of happiness and positive psychology for a long time. Maybe do something in that area.
My wife and I decided to leave California and its fast pace of life. In October 2016, we returned to Wisconsin, where I had started in 1984 and my wife comes from. Having lived my entire life in the big cities and hectic pace, I was getting used to the slow pace of life and open spaces of a small town. I took up gardening and learned to grow different vegetables, herbs and flowers. I started enjoying listening to the birds every morning. I was enjoying change of seasons. Time kept moving.
I also began spending more time in India every year. Instead of a few weeks, I was now spending a few months there. But I do not spend much time in Delhi anymore. Other than my family, I do not have any friends left there. All of them seem to have moved away. Instead, I spend more time in the South. I go to Kerala every year. I do annual ayurvedic body cleansing routine and massage therapies at Poonthottam Aurvedasram or other such places. I also spend a few weeks on the beautiful beaches in Varkala.
I have another dedicated post on Varkala on my blog. Varkala is a very special place. At least, I feel that way. It is a throwback from the hippie days of the 60’s. It is a small seaside village, set on a cliff about a half-mile long, facing the Arabian Sea. There are many oceanfront restaurants and cafes. People come here from all over the world. Some are annual regulars. They come from Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Finland, Morocco, Israel and other places. I have made many friends there over the years. When I am there, it reminds me of James Michener’s book, The Drifters. Experiencing counter culture and in a world of our own. You really have to read the book to fully understand. Nonetheless, I have been enjoying it for many years. Sadly, even that also seems to be changing. Now, hundreds of young people hop on trains from Chennai or other cities on the weekend and descend like swarms of locusts on Varkala. They spoil the tranquility. I will still continue to go there, until it gets really bad
Few years ago, I had met Farhad Cariapa on one of my ashram visits. We liked each other and got to be friends. Farhad owns a coffee estate in Coorg, the birthplace of coffee in India. Sometimes I go there to visit with him. Coffee estate visits are quite an experience, especially for a coffee lover like me.
Reconnecting with Gary
Now, getting back to that fateful day in 2019 – I got a call from Sudhir Gupta in Delhi. I was surprised because he hardly ever calls. We had reconnected in 1994 in Delhi on my visit there after 10 years and had kept in touch. On this call, after a few pleasantries, he said, Gary is here. I said, oh! I was quiet for a moment, then I asked Sudhir – I don’t know why – “how old is he now?”. Sudhir laughed and said, “Gary says, I am younger than you, you bastard!”. He handed over the phone to Gary. We talked for a little while.
He told me that he now lives in Pench. He owns and runs a resort called “Machan” in the Pench Tiger Reserve Park. He invited me to visit there. I promised to do so and went there a few months later.
Pench 1st Visit 2019
My first visit to Pench was in November 2019 for five days. Gary came to Nagpur airport to receive me. When you have not seen someone for a long time, you naturally wonder what they look like now. We were meeting after 20 years. We must have immediately noticed that we look a little different. Gary has always been very handsome. In early 80’s, he had great wavy hair and debonair personality reminiscent of Omar Sharif and Gary Cooper. He still retained the same elegance and physique but was a little thinner on top and dawned a beard. All the thoughts of appearances vanished in moments. As soon as we spoke the first words, the reconnection was complete, as though we had never missed a beat in twenty years.
We arrived at his resort a few hours later. There I saw Rashmi. She did not seem to have changed much. Time has been kind to her. She had retained the same trim and beautiful appearance. The same thing happened again. We reconnected instantly as though no time was lost. I spent five wonderful days there. Gary arranged a Tiger Safari for me. We were accompanied by several staff who arranged and laid out a royal picnic. It was a memorable visit. We promised to do this again, soon.
Pench Visit 2025
The ‘soon’ took another five years. I visited Pench this year from Feb 25 to Mar 5th for a week. My flight was very early in the morning. Gary sent a car to pick me up from Nagpur airport. I arrived at his place a couple of hours later, with anticipation and excitement. We met again, hugged and picked up where we had left off five years earlier.
Gary had set me up in one of his best cottages at the resort. I settled in, cleaned up, and then we met for lunch in his residential quarters. Rashmi was there as well. We started catching up since my last visit. A lot of water has flown in the river since.
Gary told me that they have made some new friends and have gotten very close to them. They are about the same age as us and they get together with them almost daily. They are Jagmohan and Amrit Sethi. I will be meeting them soon. They will be joining us for dinner.
Sethis arrived a few hours later. They are a very distinguished and elegant couple with a great sense of wit and humor. I discovered something else in common very quickly. Mr. Sethi is also a fan of Urdu poetry, like me. Living in America, I very seldom come across anyone to share Urdu poetry with. It is an art form that needs to be enjoyed in company in repertoire. Soon we were exchanging Urdu couplets back and forth. Gary served fine drinks and kebabs. It again brought back memories of good old times in Delhi in the 80’s. Evening progressed leisurely and concluded smoothly. We planned on connecting again the next day.
Wellness Center Inauguration
My friend Gary and Sethi belong to Sikh community. Sikh community is known to be the most philanthropic and charitable sect in the world. Service to the community is ingrained in their faith, beliefs, culture and practice. It is an essential part of their daily lives and rituals. Also, they serve everyone, especially those in need, without any restrictions or regard to their religion, caste, creed or culture.
Gary and Sethis were starting a community wellness center in their area. The next morning was the opening ceremony for the facility. We went there in the morning. The priest had come to perform puja and bless the new project. It is very comforting to participate in such activities. It nourishes the soul. After the ceremony, we came back to the resort. We enjoyed a sumptuous lunch with Gary and Rashmi in their cottage and then I retired for siesta in the afternoon.
Mahendra Godbole Visit
We got together again around 5 pm in the evening. Gary had told me that there will be a small get together a little later. They had invited another friend, Mahendra Godbole, to join us for the evening. Sethis will also be there.
There are over 50 resorts in the Pench Tiger Reserve area. Mahendra had opened one of the earliest ones there. Gary and Rashmi are good friends with them.
Mahendra and his daughter Nivedita arrived a little later. He is a very soft spoken, very respectful and mild-mannered man. Nivedita works with gourmet teas. I have been a connoisseur of fine teas and coffees for a long time. Among teas, some of my favorites are Darjeeling first flush, Jasmine Pearls, Lapsang Souchong, and Pu-erh, which is known for its healing and digestive properties. When I mentioned Pu-her, his daughter was surprised and said that I am the first person she has met who knows Pue-ehrs.
Gary, as usual, was the perfect host. We enjoyed several rounds of drinks, kebabs, and शेरो शायरी. The evening progressed and concluded on a beautiful and slightly tipsy note. Godboles invited us to their place the following evening. We all agreed and called it a day.
The Coffee Ritual
I have been a lifelong connoisseur of coffee. My love affair with coffee began way back in 1968 or so at the Indian Coffee House in Connaught Place, New Delhi. (There is a separate post on my blog on that subject). Anyway, that affair intensified after coming to America and gaining access to coffees from all over the world. My absolute favorite is Yemen Mokha, which is difficult to get these days due to political instability in the region. I also like coffees from Indonesia, Costa Rica, Guatemala, as well as India varietals Mysore Nuggets and Monsoon Malabar. I usually get green coffees and roast myself to my personal intensity preferences.
So much so, that when I travel now, I carry my whole coffee paraphernalia with me – best coffee beans, grinder, dripper, pour over filters, USB kettle, and even my favorite coffee mug.
I invited Gary to join me in my morning coffee ritual. He came over around 9:00am. I brewed Ethiopian Guji Natural and we enjoyed a mug of coffee together. The coffee was great, but only symbolic. What we really enjoyed was our togetherness. We continued this ritual, uninterrupted, for the rest of my stay there.
Visit to Godboles
Next day, we went over to Godboles in the evening. It was a little after sunset. The light was just fading out. They had set up tables outside under trees. Colorful lanterns were hanging from the branches, as if for a celebration or a festival. The air was fragrant. We started with drinks, refreshments, and pleasant conversations. Then we had a sumptuous dinner.
After a while, the party moved indoors. Mahendra Godbole loves music and singing. He has a karaoke room set up. He performed a few of his favorites. We all enjoyed the easy flow and leisurely evening. After a while, we marked one more down for the memories and then said goodbyes.
Sonia, Kabir and Uday
Sonia is Gary and Rashmi’s daughter. I first saw her in 1980 when she was maybe three years old, soon after I had met Gary and visited their home in Bandra, Mumbai. It was the beginning of our lifelong friendship, and it just took off from there.
A year after the first meeting, Gary and Rashmi moved to Delhi and settled at 877 East Park Road. I spent a lot of time and many evenings there. I often stayed there as well on my visits to Delhi, even though my own family lived not too far away. Sonia was a delightful and beautiful child. Everyone loved her. I remember putting her on my shoulders many times and spinning around. Those were great days.
In 1984, I left India for USA. On my way to Chicago, I stopped in London for three days. Rashmi and Sonia were also in London at the time, visiting family. Rashmi’s brothers are settled there. I visited with Rashmi and Sonia for a few hours. Then I carried on to the USA. I would not see them again for another ten years, until 1994, as I had stayed away from India all that time. I saw them a few times after 1994 on some of my visits to India in following years.
Then, life moved along. Sonia got married. I was graciously invited but couldn’t attend. In time, she had two sons, Kabir and Uday. I had seen her once more when Kabir was probably 3-4 years old, about the same as when Sonia was when I first met her. I lost touch with them again for many years and didn’t see them for a long time.
As it happens, Sonia and her sons had also planned to visit Gary and Rashmi at the same time as I was there. So, our visits coincided. They were arriving the next day after me. When you have not seen someone in a long time, you wonder how they might have changed. Soon I saw them. The big surprise was seeing the boys. They are now grown up young men, engaged in their own global ventures in online education. It was a very pleasant reunion.
Pench Tiger Safari
Gary had arranged a safari for all of us the following day. Weather was just right these days for Tiger sightings. All of us left for the Safari early next morning. This would be my second experience, first being on my last visit there in 2019. Safari is about a three hours ride in the forest on designated routes. A Guide accompanies each group. There are a number of Guides in the park and they have their own communication network. If anyone spots a tiger somewhere, they let the others know the location so that others can get there as well and hopefully see the tiger or leopard. It’s a hit or miss.
We were fortunate on this day. Soon, a message came of a sighting. A tigress named Laxmi had just killed a wild boar and was moving the kill. We managed to get there in time. We saw the tigress, but not the kill. That was ok.
It is interesting that we the humans find killing experience exciting and entertaining, even though it’s the way of life for animals. I will leave it at that, without pondering further.
We had a nice picnic through the middle of Safari. I was just enjoying the forest experience. This is about as close as we get to being in touch with nature. After picnic, we started our trek back home.
Another Evening with Family and Friends
I realized afterwards that it was a farewell get together of my trip, though it was not planned that way. Evening was beautiful. The temperature had cooled down a little with some nip in the air, perfect for warming up with a nice drink.
Gary’s family and I met by the pool. Soon, Amrit and Jagmohan Sethi came over and joined. We had a wonderful evening. We enjoyed a few drinks, great food, and easy conversions.
Then it was time to call it a day. This was my last evening there. I was leaving for Delhi the next day.
Last Day
Next morning, we did our Coffee ritual. Then, Gary had some errands to run. I was hoping to visit with Sethis once more before leaving, but that didn’t happen. My flight was early in the afternoon. I started packing and putting my stuff together.
Last day of leaving friends are always difficult. Somehow, time seems to stall. As if mind wants to stretch the time to enjoy it for as long as possible. At the same time, parting is painful. You want it to be over with quickly. I had started pacing back and forth an hour before departure.
Finally, the moment arrived. Gary’s family got together to bid me goodbye and wished happy travels. We took a few last-minute pictures. They turned out really good too! Another chapter and a few more memories to add to the book of life.
We promised to keep in touch and visit again soon, as and when destiny makes it happen. Until then I have memories of this visit to cherish.
I was shocked to learn of the plane crash in India two days ago on June 12. Somehow, when a tragedy happens in a place where you have some connection, the feeling intensifies. As soon as we heard the news, my wife asked if I knew anyone around there where the accident happened. I didn’t.
A little while later, I had another strange thought. I felt that the 270 people who died in the crash were fortunate. They were liberated. They escaped the traumas that seem to lie ahead in this increasingly unhappy, unpleasant, hateful, divisive and violent world.
I am in continued disbelief and shock to see where the world is going. We seem to be dropping more bombs and bullets on the earth everyday than planting trees or flowers. Whatever we are sowing, that’s what the coming generations will reap.
I feel powerless and don’t know if I can do anything to improve the situation. I feel like I have given up. At this stage of my life at 72, I just try to enjoy the simple things I can. I tend to my garden. My vegetable plants that I had planted a few weeks ago are beginning to spring up. I have already started picking my Romaine, Kale, and Butter Crunch and green onions. Zucchini will be ready next week.
A Robin had put up a nest outside my patio door two weeks ago. I had never seen anything like that before. I was fascinated how they build it. Everyday I watched her progress. Twig by twig, she built it up to about 4-5 inches high. Then she lay two beautiful eggs in it. Now, she sits on them all day long. Before too long, she will bring more new life into this world. Continuing to advance the simple circle and progression of life. Alas, humanity can’t learn beautiful life lessons from other creatures.
Finally, perhaps selfishly as well, I feel fortunate for the life I have managed to live. I am probably from the last fortunate generation which has experienced so much. I started my life growing up without electricity, running water, telephone or refrigerator. But the water from ground that we drew with a hand pump was pure and sweet. We got fresh vegetables to eat every day. There were no leftovers as they could not be saved. The fresh food was prepared in the home twice daily. We had plenty of time for family and friends. Life was simple and beautiful.
Then, slowly progress came along. Little did we know, it was a Trojan Horse. We had electricity, television, refrigerator, then internet, email, web and Facebook came along, and now AI. Little by little, real things and real people are moving out and unreal is coming in.
I don’t know how to fit into this world. I may have anywhere from a moment to maybe another 10, 15, or 20 years to live. Sadly, I don’t look forward to it. I am wary and scared. Yet, there is still some hope. Somehow, this too shall pass.
There are two key things that cause illnesses in human body – inflammation and ph imbalance. If people add just a few simple ingredients in their daily routine, they can effectively make their body immune from many diseases. These are the guard rails against many health issues.
Healthy Ingredients in Home Kitchen:
Here is a list of ‘guard rail’ ingredients. It is followed by a few simple recipes for these ingredients and how to consume them.
Take one cube of Ganga Jee Gur with Ginger and Elaichi. Heat on very low heat to melt. Add a tbs of pure ghee. A pinch of roasted cumin powder, and a tiny pinch of black salt. Eat it slowly.
Recipe#2 – Methi, Fresh Turmeric, Fresh Ginger Water
Soak 1 teaspoon each at night in a glass of water. Drink one cup of 250 ml in the morning. Helps regulate blood sugar and blood pressure to manage diabetes and hypertension.
Recipe#3 – Amla Jaggery drink
4 Amla fresh, pit removed and flesh chopped
1 inch Ginger, chopped
½ inch fresh Turmeric root
1 tbs Jaggery or Gur
1 tbs Pudina leaves, fresh
½ tsp Salt (Himalayan or rock salt)
Grind the above in a blender. Mix in a cup of water. Add a pinch of roasted cumin. Drink in the morning. Excellent immunity booster and anti-aging drink.
Recipe#4 – Ajwain
One tablespoon Ajwain + ½ tsp black salt + juice of two lemons. Soak in a small glass jar and let it rest for two hours. Ajwain would have absorbed all the juices. Add some more lemon juice as needed to keep it moist. Eat ½ teaspoon after meals, or whenever you feel like. Good for digestion, nutrients absorption, and circulation.
Recipe#5 – Tulsi Tea
Take about one tablespoon Tulsi leaves. Rinse in fresh water to wash off any dust. Best to pick fresh from your home garden or Tulsi plant. Put them in a tea kettle. Pour hot water on it. NOT boiling but about hot. Let the leaves steep for 5 minutes. Drink the tea or infusion as it is called. You can keep adding water to it and drink it a few times. Very relaxing and calming.
Human body is a very intricate machine. It has channels, pathways and gears to make it function. It uses food as fuel to generate energy, and water and air for movement and continuous flow in its various subsystems. Its digestive system processes raw food and makes essential building blocks for the body such as blood, tissue, bones, and muscles. It extracts nutrients from foods to keep all parts moving smoothly and functioning properly. Its circulatory system keeps all parts well lubricated with essential fluids and respiratory system brings in fresh air and takes bad air out.
Our bodies require not just fuel but regular maintenance and tune up to keep it healthy and working optimally. If we don’t do that, its parts begin to malfunction and its channels get clogged. These malfunctions are called diseases.
Ayurveda is the oldest healthcare system in the world. It originated in India over 5,000 years ago and is a precursor to all other systems that came after. The key difference between Ayurveda and modern medicines and allopathic system is that Ayurveda focuses on treating root causes of the diseases, whereas modern medicines treat specific diseases. Ayurveda treats specific diseases as well but even within those treatments the focus is to get to the root cause to prevent the same problem from recurring again. It still may, due to various reasons including not adhering to proper maintenance but the approach and philosophy still holds.
Yoga is also an integral part of Ayurveda but is often viewed separately. Most people view yoga as a physical exercise routine and Ayurveda as medicinal. One final aspect to include is diet and sleep. Taken all together, Yoga, Ayurveda, eating right, and good sleep offer an ideal practice to prevent illnesses and staying in good health.
One of the key health maintenance protocol in Ayurveda is Panchakarma. It is a therapeutic routine to cleanse body from inside in five different ways. Panch=5, and Karma=Ways or Methods.
Our body accumulates impurities every day. The food we consume gets processed and nutrients gets extracted to be used. The residual, or bodily waste, gets eliminated in three ways via urine, feces and sweat. But, all of it does not get out. Some toxins still remain in the body. In addition, the air pollution contains harmful particles that impact lungs like cigarettes smoke. Water may also contain contaminants that get into the body. The amount of toxins in bodies varies from person to person due to many factors. These toxins impact body’s ability to function properly and create many different diseases. Ayurveda approach to fix this problem is through body cleansing via Panchakarma. Once body is cleansed, it functions more efficiently, absorbs nutrients better, and keeps us healthy. Over time, toxins will again build up and another cleansing will be needed. Therefore, it is a cycle and we need to keep up with our periodic body cleansing to stay in optimum health and prevent from getting sick.
Unfortunately, most people do not pay attention to body maintenance necessity. They are not even aware of it. People live unhealthy and unbalanced lives. They do not eat proper foods that are appropriate for their constitution. And even when they get sick, their focus is on getting quick relief for the current problem through medications, rather than getting to the root cause and fixing it. It is not difficult but requires discipline, which is hard. Often, really hard!
My Ayurveda Journey
I am 71 years old and have been suffering from stubborn cough for many years. It gets really bad in winter. Mucus accumulates in my chest and throat at night. As soon as I get up in the morning, I start coughing to get the phlegm out. It takes me over an hour every morning to get comfortable. My chest always feels cold. I have GERD problem for decades. I have diabetes too.
I was born and raised in India. As a child, yoga and Ayurveda was all around us. I have fairly good knowledge of Ayurvedic principles. I am also quite careful about what I eat. Yet, I still have these issues. As per Ayurveda, it is my Prakruti. Regardless of what I do, my Prakruti, which I refer to as my Ayurvedic DNA, dictates many things in my body. It seems my Kapha is out of balance. I am told that chest is the seat of Kapha. When it is out of balance, it impacts Vata as well. To explain another way, our bodies sit on a three-legged stool. These three legs are Tridoshas – Kapha, Pita, and Vata. If they are not balanced, the body sitting on them gets wobbly. Therefore, I need to undertake Ayurvedic treatments to balance my Tridoshas.
Poonthottam Ayurvedasram
I had discovered Poonthottam in 2007. At the time, I was living in California and suffering from lower back pain. I was looking for a place to get some good massages to loosen my back. I came across a place called Yoga Mandala in Berkeley, California. I went there and met a person who called himself Dharmanidhi. He was about 6 1/2 feet tall Caucasian guy. Dharmanidhi was not his real name. He had studied Ayurveda in India for many years in both North and South, in Bihar and Kerala. The Ayurveda traditions and approaches are different in these two areas. He studied both. In his reverence to Ayurveda and Indian spirituality, he adopted an Indian name as well and began to call himself Dharmanidhi. I started going to his Yoga Mandala regularly and we got to know each other fairly well. One day he told me that it is alright to come to his place, but to get real Ayurveda treatment I need to go to Poonthottam Ayurvedasram in Kerala. That’s where he had studied with Dr. Ravi and he is one of the most authentic traditional Ayurveda practitioners he knows. So, I reached out to Dr. Ravi and came here a couple of months later.
Poonthottam Ayurvedasram is situated in a rural setting in Kerala, about three hours drive from Kochi. It is set up in the midst of beautiful green fields, a lily pond, surrounded by coconut trees, a variety of fruit trees, vegetables and paddy fields. They grow many herbs here that are used in Ayurvedic therapies and treatments. They even maintain cows that are grass fed and roam freely. One gets up in the morning to the sound of birds chirping happily and gentle breeze brings in fresh air. Even some peacocks roam occasionally.
Poonthottam has 20 rooms and cottages in its lower campus. They are usually occupied by foreigners, mostly from European countries. A few like me come from USA as well occasionally, and a few from India too. This creates an eclectic atmosphere of a global village. I have visited here more than 10 times in the past 17 years and made many friends from a wide diaspora. There is another upper campus where they accommodate mostly Indian patients in many rooms and dormitories. They also maintain an outpatient clinic for the local community.
Treating Persistent Cough
I live in Wisconsin in the United States. The winters get very cold there. They arrive sometimes as early as November and linger through the end of March. As soon as temperatures start dropping below 50f (10c), my chest begins to get cold. I get continuous post nasal drip, phlegm accumulates in my throat, and have miserable coughing fit for over an hour every morning. It feels as though my body is trying to scrape and dislodge the gooey substance from the bronchi tree in chest. It is exhausting! This problem has been worsening over the years. I have consulted pulmonologists, allergists, and ENT specialists but they haven’t been able to figure out the cause or cure. So, I decided to turn to Ayurveda, and Poonthottam.
I arrived here on January 8, 2025 and had a long consultation with Dr. Ravi, whom I have now known for 17 years since 2007. He explained to me that this is a severe Kapha imbalance problem, made worse due to my diabetes. Chest is ‘Kaphasthanam’, the place where Kapha resides in the body. Kapha is the gooey substance. It has an essential role in the body. It provides lubricants to the joints and other moving parts. But the excess of it creates problem such as cough. Therefore, the solution is to remove the excess and maintain the balance. Notice that the goal is not to eliminate it but balance it.
My Prakruti
Prakruti – I am Pita dominant, then Kapha, Vata.
Vikruti – Vikruti is Tridoshas imbalance which manifests in the form of various malfunctions or diseases. I have been suffering from post nasal drip, chronic cough, and congestion in the chest for a long time. My chest is also very sensitive to colds. I have been told that this is due to Kapha imbalance that permeates in to Vata as well. This is my Vikruti condition which will return back to normal Prakruti after the doshas are balanced. Then, my cough and sinus condition should also alleviate. Vikruti is not permanent. It happens when tridosha imbalance occurs. It is improved or gone once the body and tridoshas return to normal.
Treatment Focus
A treatment plan was devised to address following issues:
Cough and Congestion – Provide relief from cough and congestion by balancing Kapha and removing excess.
Nocturia – Reduce night time urination frequency by reducing glucose levels
Foot Injury- Stimulate foot muscles to heal recent hallux tendon injury in the right foot
Body Cleansing – Body detox through vasti, enema therapy
Body Rejuvenation – Improve body functions with Ayurvedic massages with custom formulated oils to open up energy channels for more efficient flow.
Treatment Methodology
Abhyanga – massage with warm oil daily to improve circulation of fluids in the body and improve metabolism
Tailadhara – continuous warm oil pour over whole body
Navaradhra – medicated milk and rice powder liquid pour over body
Zirobhayang – oil massage on the scalp for calming the mind
Svedanam – steam bath sweat therapy to extricate toxins from the body
Vasti – Enema with medicated oils therapy for colon cleansing
Medicines – various herbal medicines
Diet
Ayurvedic diet for all meals including breakfast, lunch, evening snack, and dinner. All meals are customized for my body type, condition, and health issues such as diabetes.
6:00 am – Wake-up. Wash face. Rub eyes. Come to the balcony. Look in the distance for at least 20 seconds. Rotate eyes. Do simple stretches. Chaalan kriyas (loosening exercises). Sit down calmly. Slowly drink two cups of warm herbal water provided. Do bathroom nature business.
7:00 am – Morning walk, yoga, stretches, meditation
—— Walk – Go over by the lily pond. Walk 10 rounds around the pond. Each round is about 1/10th of a mile. Listen to the birds. Breathe in fresh air. Try to not think of anything. Enjoy the peace and calm. This is your morning meditation. It will refresh mind.
—— Yoga – Yoga Chalan Kriyas. Loosening stretch exercises. Do one set as described in International Yoga Day video.
—— Dr. Oz exercise – Do one set of 25 reps each of four ways hands stretching. Palms up/down, hands out stretched up/down, hands out stretched left/right, hands out stretched front/back clapping.
—— Rest – After exercise, rest and meditate for a while.
8:30 am – Breakfast. Walk over to the common eating area outside kitchen. An Ayurvedic breakfast, custom prepared for each patient is served. Enjoy the breakfast and companionship of fellow residents.
10:00 am – Treatment – Time may vary from person to person. Mine includes various massage therapies for about 90 minutes, followed by assisted bath by therapist and helper.
11:30 am – Rest after the treatment.
12:30 pm – Lunch in the common dining area. Customized Ayurvedic meal is served. This is precious time. We usually get to know other residents here. Enjoy meal and have conversations with others. I have made many wonderful friends here over the years during these shared times.
1:30 pm – Doctor’s daily visit to check progress. Discuss any issues. Take blood pressure and record it.
2:00 pm to 3:30 pm – Open time. Rest. Read. Go for a walk by the pond. Do whatever you like.
3:30 pm – Afternoon snack is served. A small bowl of fruits is served with herbal tea. One can have it brought to the room or walk over to the dining area.
4:00 pm to 5:30 pm – Open time.
5:00 pm – Yoga practice in the upper campus. All are welcome to join.
5:30 pm to 7:00 pm – Dinner time. Enjoy dinner with other fellow residents. You may go for an after dinner walk by the pond. Ayurveda suggests to walk at least one hundred steps after meal, if your health and body allows it.
7:00 pm – Event such as a cooking class, cultural activity or a presentation may be scheduled. If some event is planned, you are invited to participate.
7:30 pm – After dinner, it is open time until next morning schedule begins. Relax and have a restful night.
Progress
I had arranged for a 21- day treatment program. It started on January 9th and will complete on the 29th. I have received treatments for 11 days as of today.
I have noticed significant improvement in my morning cough. I am not waking up every morning with a lot of phlegm accumulation in my throat and chest. It is looking very promising that by the end of the program in another 10 days, this issue will be taken care of for long term.
My diabetes and B/P numbers are improving as well. This may be an effect of strictly controlled low carb and sugar free diet as well, in addition to therapies and medicines.
Body cleansing and rejuvenation treatments are making me feel lighter and less lethargic. There is likely better energy flow in the body.
Overall, I am pleased with the progress so far and it is looking even more promising going forward.
Treatment Notes
Discussion with Subhash, my therapist. He provided some very valuable information for future reference:
Best time for treatment – Rainy season and the month of August is the best time for Ayurveda treatment.
Marma or pressure points treatment. Four days before my treatment was to end, he started working on the pressure points, also called ‘Marma Points’ on the soles of my feet. There are points below the toes and other parts of sole that are directly connected to body parts like Nose, Sinus, Liver. By applying pressure on these points, it reinvigorates them. They are also helpful for neuropathy and nerve regeneration.
Dry eyes. Ayurveda offers dry eyes treatment. It is a one week regimen. Discuss when planning treatment on next visit.
This is how it happened, a long time ago. Once upon a time, I was working in Silicon Valley. The days were long and the nights were restless. One weekend, I decided to take a trip towards Big Sur, California, by the pacific coast highway. It is truly one of the most spectacular places on the planet. The pristine air, crashing waves, seagulls, greenery and beautiful surroundings will soothe any nerves. Felt like paradise.
There I saw an RV parked in a picnic spot. An old couple was sitting in vintage chairs, reclining comfortably, wearing sun hats. On the back of the chairs were these words – on one “No Hurry”, and on the other “No Worry”. I can visualize it even now, almost 20 years later. My heart had almost stopped. Really? Is that possible? May be someday. Little did I know at the time that one day this memory will would out to be a life changing experience.
Well, that someday arrived in late 2016. I left high-tech and I and my wife moved back to Janesville, Wisconsin. It was like déjà vu.
I had attended University of Wisconsin for eight years from 1984 to 1992. I had also met my wife there in 1990. We got married there a year later in 1991. Internet was just born. There wasn’t even a web browser yet. The first web browser Mosaic was developed at University of Illinois – Urbana Champaign in 1994. The internet gold rush was about to begin. I had just graduated two years ago with an MBA in Decision Support Systems. A lot of stuff was beginning to happen in Silicon Valley. Even the first web browser inventor Marc Andreesen was moving there near Stanford University. That’s where the future was for someone like me. So, we moved there in 1996, after a little sojourn in Colorado. California was great for 20 years. But, seasons change. Now it was time for slowing down and No Hurry No Worry.
Janesville is comparatively a small hamlet of 68,000 people, as compared to Bay Area’s millions, eight lane highways in each direction, traffic jams, long commutes, and not to mention stratospheric prices. Janesville is easy. It brought back old memories as well. We hardly even get on highways. The nearest big city is Madison, which is about 40 miles away. It has been rated several times as number one on the list of best places to live in America. We often go there to shop at Costco and to get away from small town some times. We take the back roads and state highway 14 to get there. It took some time to get used to the slow pace. But now it feels peaceful, though a little boring at times.
We have wonderful neighbors and a beautiful backyard. I have set up my vegetables and herbs garden here. I was born and raised in big cities. I had lived all my life in such places until now. I didn’t even know that carrots are root crops and grow below ground. It was all new to me and I was loving it !
It took me at least two seasons to get the hang of it. But now I grow all kinds of wonderful vegetables and herbs. All kinds. I grow long sweet Italian peppers. One of them turned out to be nearly 14 inches long, see blog post for pics, and a tomato weighed over a pound.
In my first season, my garden didn’t have a fence. My tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, and peppers were growing nicely. I was really excited. Then one day we went out in the morning. When we came back a few hours later, and my garden was gone! I was shocked. What happened. Didn’t know what to think. I was really upset. My neighbor came by and immediately knew. He said one word, deer.
We live by a creek. Apparently, some deer had crossed over and had a nice breakfast. Well, that was that. A few days later, I researched, and thought through. Then I went over to Menards, got some fence posts, fencing, gate and whatever else was needed. Then I put up the fence. Did everything myself. It turned out really well. It was such a joy to work with my hands and successfully finish it. It gave me immense satisfaction. It has been up for four seasons now and working out very well. We haven’t had a deer incident since.
Wisconsin is spectacularly beautiful state. We have so many lakes and rivers. There is lush greenery everywhere. Our City of Janesville is actually called the garden city. Our own backyard runs into a city park and makes it look much larger than it actually is. But there is only one problem – winter. It starts getting cold here in November. It has sometimes snowed as early as October, but not often. Then the winter lingers on often through March. Many people from Wisconsin go to Florida and other warmer places for winter. We call them snowbirds!
But Florida is not for me. Too humid and too many mosquitoes. So, I thought through and decided to start coming to India in winters, especially the beaches in Kerala. I have been coming to Varkala, a small seaside city in Kerala, for short visits for many years. Now, that I am retired, I can perhaps spend more time there. Enjoy the beautiful views, the sea breeze, lovely sunsets, great food, and making new friends from somewhere in the world, every year.
There is so much we know that we don’t even know that we know,
We start learning as soon as we are born. We learn to recognize people, learn a language, and so many things we observe and experience. As time goes by, the utility of many learnings becomes irrelevant, and they automatically get filed away – in a mental closet. They are never lost. They sit forever in that closet in the mind. There is a lot that is in there, but we rarely ever open it to see what is there, because a need doesn’t arise
I suddenly thought about it yesterday. I took a peak in the closet, and saw many gems. The learnings from my childhood. Lessons from my grandma. Wisdom of the Vedas from from Dharma classes in the middle school, home remedies used at home for various ailments like headache or common cold.
And so much more. Our culture, history, values, ethics, morality, social norms, codes of conduct, respect for elders.
I felt happy and sad at the same time. Happy because all that is still there in the hidden closet, and sad because the world has changed so much that much of that beauty, norms and wisdom seem to have disappeared. But, again, it is not. All of it is still there. At least within me. If I choose to take it out of that closet.
Our lives were profound in the early ages. But as time has progressed, they have become mundane – and we don’t even know it. In early days, there were Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo, Aristotle, and the Rishis and Seers in India who wrote Veda and scriptures on papyrus. They must have invented the papyrus as well and writing for this purpose – to preserve the centuries of learning and knowledge for the future ages.
Even before the writing was invented, the knowledge was passed to the next generation through oral tradition. Human mind has infinite capacity to store knowledge. In the Vedas, ancient Hindu scriptures, it uses a phrase – Ahm Brahmand, I am the Universe. What it means is that I, myself, am a tiny but inseparable part of the Universe. Therefore, I am the universe. We do not need to seek it outside of ourselves. If we explore within ourselves, all we need is right there.
The Rishis or scholars of the early ages studied this phenomenon and concluded that the whole universe is created from five elements – earth, water, fire, air and ether. It includes all living and non living things. All life and all matter. An early periodic table of elements. They also concluded that everything in the universe is inseparably linked and related to each other. It is also co-dependent. We can all choose to help each other, or destroy each other.
Lately, humanity has taken a destructive path. Nature provides sustenance for humanity. In return, humanity has a responsibility to protect nature – in its own self interest. But, it is clearly evident from the climate change that we are hurting nature, and as a result experiencing increasingly more natural disasters every year, and hurting ourselves.
Human mind still has the same capacity. Times have proven that. But we now choose to employ it differently. People who created computer memory chips that can store a library on something the size of a thumbnail, or Steve Jobs who was no less than modern day Leonardo da Vinci and created things that all living human beings use today. Or people who create weapons that can vaporize the entire universe in an instant are not less gifted. Human mind needs to invent and create. That is its given nature.
But, somehow, it has gotten misdirected. The road not taken, that it has taken, is taking us to the oblivion. That’s the way I see it, but don’t know what’s the answer.
As an old phrase is often used to describe close resembling relationships, “Chip off the old block”, we all are chips off the same old block – a big block, this universe! We are the universe. Whenever we hurt even a tiniest part of this universe, we in fact, inadvertently are hurting ourselves.
I still do have the faith in humanity and the creative potential of human mind and imagination. I have no doubt that we will solve all these issues one day and make this world better again. But, I don’t know when that may happen. I may not be around to see it. Perhaps, all that I am saying today will survive, if only in my own mind’s closet.
Do you know the real meaning of Diwali and why it is celebrated on the darkest night of the year? My friend, Gary Kalra, shared this clip to enlighten:
In the backdrop of current elections in the United States, my thoughts took me to another time and place. Also, the talk of mass deportations reminded me of another mass migration and displacement of people to a country next door, in another era. History does seem to repeat itself.
India got its independence from Britain in 1947. The father of the Indian Independence movement was Mahatma Gandhi, who had learned the lessons of intolerance the hard way. He had personally experienced terrible prejudices, which inspired him to launch the freedom of India movement. His goals and objectives were truly noble, three of which were – freedom through non-violence, a secular India for all religions, and no personal interest in power for himself.
Gandhi was the spiritual leader of the movement, but the political power lay in other hands, notably two: Jawahar Lal Nehru, leader of the Indian National Congress, and Mohammed Ali Jinnah, leader of the Muslim League.
Before the Independence, India had two major religious constituencies, Hindus, which were in majority, and Muslims who were a small but significant minority. India’s population at the time was around 390 million, comprised of approximately 74% Hindus, 24% Muslims, and 2% Christians.
The terms for Independence of India were being negotiated among three parties – the outgoing British, Indian National Congress, and Muslim League. The leader of Muslim League wanted an independent nation for Muslims, carved out of new India.
Gandhi wanted to avoid the partition of country at any cost. He made every possible effort to prevent that outcome. He even offered Jinnah to be the first prime minister of newly Independent India. But Jinnah did not budge. He wanted a separate nation for Muslims only, and that’s what he got – a brand new Pakistan, made up of Muslim majority areas in the Northwest and Eastern parts of India.
Everything was happening too fast. British were in a hurry to leave, after being there for over 300 years since 1608. There were no plans for a systematic withdrawal. After it was decided that India will be divided, maps were hastily drawn to mark boundaries of the two countries. It is said that Sir Cyril Radcliffe drew the partition map of India overnight, over a few drinks of scotch whisky.
Maps were so haphazard that they split many communities apart, who were living harmoniously side-by-side for generations. Neighbors became enemies.
Gandhi was completely distraught. He couldn’t fathom what was happening, nor could he stop it. So, he did the next best thing possible. He proclaimed that any Muslims who wanted to stay in India were welcome to do so. But Jinnah declared that Pakistan will be for Muslims only.
At the time of Independence on August 15, 1947, around 15-18 million people migrated from one side to the other. Nearly all Hindus came towards India, and around two-third Muslims left for the newly designated Pakistan. Some Hindus in Pakistan did not want to move, but were forced to leave. Few even converted to Islam to be able to stay where they were.
The population of undivided India in 1947 was around 390 million. After the partition, there were 330 million people in India, and 60 million in the newly formed Pakistan, nearly equal divided between West and East Pakistan, which would later become Bangladesh. It is significant to note that nearly 35 million Muslims chose to remain in independent India.
There was widespread violence during the post-partition migration and displacement in two countries. Over a million people were killed on both sides, both Hindus and Muslims.
It was probably the greatest violent tragedy of our times, next only to the Jewish holocaust.
I do not see any distinction between what happened in India then, and what is going on today in various parts of the world.
Large number of people have died and been displaced in the wars in the Middle East in recent years. Either side can offer reasons and justifications, but no solutions. Gandhi had once said, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”. This is what seems to be happening in the world today.
Conflicts and wars have become huge industries. There is more global investment in the world in developing increasingly powerful instruments of war, than solving human problems such as environmental issues or dealing with looming water and energy crises.
In the meantime, simple and innocent people keep suffering and dying, but rich and powerful keep getting richer and more powerful. Power and greed prevails over humanity.
I believe that people anywhere and everywhere mostly want to live in peace and harmony. Why wouldn’t they? Does anyone prefers chaos and agony over peace. But what real choice do people have? Systems are locked in, and people are destined to just have to live in them.
I can only set my own personal morals. Live in peace. Don’t intentionally hurt anyone else. But, if I do, inadvertently, I beg forgiveness.
Conclusion
India, a unified country, was split apart and divided in to two. Millions of people died, suffered, and are still suffering. The heartache of them cannot be quantified. The ones who left families and loved ones on the other side, still grieve for their homes, culture, neighbors, and loved ones lost and left behind.
Were there any winners? It doesn’t seem so. Jinnah, the architect of the partition of India, died of cancer a year after the creation of Pakistan. Today, there are more Muslims in India than there were when Pakistan was created.
Since India was divided, the two countries have fought four wars. Neighbors against each other. Thousands have died. Significant resources are spent continually on each side for border security and control. There was no such cost when the countries were together.
Muslim culture is very rich. I am a Hindu by birth. But I love Urdu poetry, Muslim arts, and great architecture that gave us treasures like Taj Mahal. But now, only hatred and conflicts prevails for each other on both sides.
Some wars have been necessary in history, but most have been wars of choice, especially since World War II. There are no winners in such wars. Only temporary wins for some politicians, and continuing misery for the people caught between the egos and self interest of the few.
Humanity should be able to find a better way to live and coexist in peace and harmony. I like to have that hope.
The other day, I was sitting in Mocha Moment, the cafe on the other side of town. There are hardly any good cafes in this city to hang out. I have had a long affinity with cafes. They have played an important role in my life. Mocha Moment is probably the only place here that serves this purpose. So, once in a while, I go there and hang out.
This day, I was just sitting there on a table by the window. Another person I had run in to there some time ago, Richard Wunder, saw me and came by. He sat down and we started having a nice conversation. Richard is an artist, in his early 80’s and with a broad outlook. We enjoy each other’s company. We never plan our meetings; they always happen per chance, once in a while, when I stop by at Mocha to pickup some coffee beans.
This afternoon, we were just sitting, and a man popped up from nowhere. He bent down and put his face, almost next to mine, and started talking in rapid fire. Are you an Indian? Are you Patel. (He didn’t even say it right, with emphasis on wrong syllables). I knew a Patel. Oh, they are something else. He owned a motel. His son works at a gas station. Oh, Indians are smart. And on and on he went. I couldn’t get a word in. His body language was sending a different message. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.
I said – noooo! I am NOT a Patel. I am not a frog either. I see a broad horizon, beyond my pond. He didn’t get it. What would be the point. The damage was already done. As it has happened at many other times in the past. It hurts.
We immigrants work so hard to be a part of America like anyone else. Our American was not given to us. We were not born with it. We have worked very hard to earn it. It is an immense labor of love. We appreciate it, value it, and do everything we can to preserve it. We want nothing more than be regarded and accepted, like anyone else. But, alas, the skin color, and accent, comes in the way.
I came to America over 40 years ago, which is longer than more than half of America’s population today. I have been a citizen for over 28 years. My gestation period was much longer as well. Way over nine months. I have been preparing, studying, and learning about America for nearly 20 years, before I came here. Also, I did not come here for a bigger paycheck, or to escape any atrocities in India. India is a fine country, with centuries of culture and wisdom. It is the birth place of Buddhism, Yoga, Ayurveda, and much more.
I came here because I truly wanted to experience a wider world. Different cultures. I really appreciated American values and concepts of freedom, dignity, and anything is possible if you try ethos. In comparison, the studies show that more than half the school children today don’t even know who JFK was, and some can’t even recall Abraham Lincoln.
I came here in 1984, as a foreign student. As such, I had to pay out of state tuition, which was more than twice as much. Also, as a foreign student, I was not eligible for any student loans, financial aid, scholarships, or grants. I was not even allowed to work, with one exception. I could work on campus, at minimum wage, which was $3.35 per hour at the time. Even there, there was a limit of 20 hours per week.
I had come with about $23,000 in savings. But, with the high tuition and living expenses, that money was running out fast. The tuition was capped at 12 credits. Above that, additional classes didn’t cost more. So, I took on extra credits as well, to be able to save money and graduate as quickly as possible. I was doing 18 credit. Still, I could see problems ahead. My money would soon run out.
So, I decided to seek advice and find help. I wrote a letter to the Chancellor, Dr. James O’Connor, describing my situation and predicament. A few days later, his secretary, Susan, called and said that Dr. Connor wanted to see me. I went to his office, quite nervous. We met. He did not ask me anything. I still remember that meeting very vividly.
As soon as I entered his office, he smiled and asked me to sit down. The first words that he spoke were, “Anil, here is what we are going to do”:
We will wave your out of state tuition, with retroactive effect. Meaning, I will have to pay in-state tuition only. It also meant that the additional out-of-state portion that I had paid in the past three semesters will be reverted back to me, and applied towards the following semesters.
Next, that his secretary has already arranged work for me at the university store. I am to go and see John Hapka, the store manager, the same afternoon.
He wished me good luck and let me go. I was overwhelmed, overjoyed, and relieved. All of a sudden, my problems were solved. But, this was only the beginning, as I will find out a few months later.
I went to see John Hapka. A thoroughly delightful, pipe smoking, man. He put me to work right away. My first job was to go to different buildings and take inventory of the furniture. Count chairs and desks in the class rooms, furniture and lamps in the offices, and write the counts on the clip board. Some residence halls were getting renovated and items were being marked for sale. Student desks for $3, chairs for $2, and dressers for $5. I bought one myself, and still have it! I did a lot of tagging. John and I became good friends as well.
This humble beginning led to many other successes. A few months later, I got another call from Dr. Connor’s office. Susan, his secretary, wanted to see me. I went over there. She said, “Our graduate student who was managing the computer in our office, has suddenly left. He has transferred to Madison. Dr. Connor wants you to take his place, and manage the database”. She said, I don’t even know how to turn it on, and what is in there.
I didn’t know how to respond. I said, I don’t know anything about the computers or databases. She said, this is a university. Learn it! There are professors. I have already called Professor so and so. You go and see him. He will tell you what to do. And, by the way, we pay $8.75 an hour, more than twice of what I was getting at store, at $3.35 an hour.
I figured out, It was Dr. Connor’s way of helping me, while preserving my dignity.
It was 1986. PC’s were just emerging and computer applications came with very extensive manuals. The database program Dr. Connor’s office was using was called dBase III. I met the professor and he guided me through. I went to the library and checked out several manuals. I spent the entire weekend in the computer lab and figured out the basics of dBase III. I could launch the program, open the database file, view the records, select reports, and print them out. That’s what Susan, Dr. Connor’s secretary wanted to do. I was all excited. I couldn’t wait to go to her office on Monday morning and show what I had learned.
So, I went to Dr. Connor’s office on Monday morning and told Susan that I have figured it out. She said, ok. Turn it on. Those days, computers did not have graphic interface. They were analog. When you turned them on, a blue screen appeared on the monitor, with a blinking white dot on bottom left. It used to be called DOT Prompt. We had to type in commands, and press enter. If the command was correct, expected response appeared.
I turned on the computer. Dot prompt came. My hand was probably shaking. I carefully entered the command, and pressed enter. Those, days computers did not respond instantly; they took a few milliseconds. To me, that day, it was an eternity. Finally, screen lit up, and started scrolling with student records, row after row. Susan was watching over my shoulder. She jumped up, and screamed. You have done it! Didn’t I tell you, you can!
It is hard to describe my feeling. I felt great. That experience changed the trajectory of my career. Many good things happened after that. I was planning on doing my MBA in Marketing. I changed my major to Information Technology.
I got several other opportunities as well at UW-Whitewater. They had recently started a minority affairs department, and wanted to create a Uniform Minority Information System database (UMIS). They had also hired a new vice chancellor for the program, Dr. Roger Pulliam. I got a call from Dr. Pulliam. He wanted me to come and see him. He said, he wants me to develop the database for this new program. Dr. Connor has already cleared it. I will get whatever resources I need.
He gave me an independent office, the equipment needed, and also assigned two students to work with me. My office was twice the size of my professors. Our program was very successful. It helped us in keeping track of minority students success, and planning help and interventions as needed. We generated reports that went all the way to Washington DC to justify continued support of the program.
I graduated in time in 1992, with two degrees, a Bachelor’s in Marketing, and an MBA in Information Technology. Since I was not eligible for any loans, I came away with two degrees and zero debt. The hard work had paid off.
My final feather in the cap at UW was when I was offered a job as Information Specialist at UW-System, Madison, in the office of the university president at Bascom Hill. I took up that job soon after completing my MBA program and worked there for a year until leaving Wisconsin the following year.
The point is that America is a wonderful country. Help comes along when you need it, and if you are sincere. Also, you can succeed, if you are committed and willing to work hard towards your goal.
I had already gotten married an year ago, in 1991, to a woman from Janesville. She used to say, I married you because I believed you will take me away from Wisconsin. So, after graduation, I asked her, where do you want to go? She said, Colorado. I have always liked the mountains. I said OK.
We packed our bags and left for Denver on June 6, 1993. I didn’t have any job lined up, or anything. But, I had a lot of confidence and hope.
I found my first job within two months in Denver, at US West, the baby bell providing phone service to fourteen western states. Again, long stories, but I did well in my career.
People liked me and admired my work. But, I still felt being treated differently, sometimes nice different, and, at other times, otherwise. It was still hard to find assimilation, and true acceptance.
In 1996, we moved to California and lived there for twenty years. It was a different experience. There was a lot more diversity there. With the internet explosion, America needed a lot of skilled computer people, instantly, which we could not produce here, fast enough. India provided them. Many came here. They were accepted and respected.
When I joined PeopleSoft in the Silicon Valley, in 1997, there were only two Indians in the company. By the time I left there in 2005, there were hundreds. They did not take away jobs from Americans. We still had a huge shortage of skilled computer workers, and there still is, today.
I retired in 2015. The technology was changing rapidly. I was 62 years old. The next oldest person in the company was twenty years younger than me, at 42. I simply didn’t have the energy. In high tech industry, burn out rate is very high. You work on a global clock. If you can’t put in 14 hours a day, you can’t survive.
Even after retirement, the pressure was still there. I was still breathing the same air. Recruiters still called. I had a lot of experience, but no gas in the tank. It was hard to ignore the temptations. So, we decided to leave Silicon Valley and came back to Wisconsin in October 2016. We shipped the stuff here, and took a long five day road trip, from Redwood City, California to Janesville, Wisconsin. No more manic Mondays.
But, It has not been easy. I had forgotten being treated different, but it comes to fore here every so often. People still ask me here, where are you from. I hear the question, but it is the tone that matters. Sometimes, what I hear is not, where are you from, but, why are you here? To that tone, I answer, I am from this planet. Where are you from? They get surprised, and go silent.
I encourage curiosity, because it is a virtue. I am very curious myself. If I find other curious people, we are kindred souls. We can engage in curious discussions and learn from each other. I enjoy the conversations and companionship. But, prejudice is something else. It hurts.
Every religion professes that there is only one God, and he has created everything. All of us. He created this earth, mountains, oceans, land, and all creatures. What he certainly did not create were boundaries, silos, and nations, which also come and go. Then, how come, some people are treated as children of a lesser God? Isn’t that short sighted, and an insult to our creator as well. I, carefully, use the word short sighted, because history is evidence that creation of silos and nations has not solve any problems. It has only created wars, misery, unhappiness, and diminished human experience.
I have earned my America. It was not given to me. I did not inherit it. I was not born to it. I have really earned it, the hard way.
The biggest tragedy of the human experience is that we are born free, but are immediately tagged and put in to cages. We have a skin color, a country, a religion, a language, a social class, and more. This becomes our destiny. Most humans spend their entire lives in their cages. Some try to break free, and succeed. Many don’t. Nonetheless, it is a struggle. It is not easy. Doesn’t have to be this way, but that’s the way it is.
America is a great country. It is my country, it is your country. It is my home, it is your home. It is BIG. Please don’t make it small !
