Two years ago, I had installed a wire basket on my patio to hold a wi-fi mesh pod for extending internet reach. It looked nice and worked great. I could roam around anywhere in my garden and stay connected.

In Wisconsin, where I live, winters are long. Every year we look forward to the end of winter in March and beginning of spring. We can come out on the patio, breathe fresh air, feel soothing warmth of the morning sun, watch grass grow, see flowers bloom, and hear birds sing.

One morning in early May, I noticed a few twigs hanging from my Wi-Fi basket. Next day, there were some more. We soon realized that a finch has discovered the basket and decided to build a nest in it. We started watching her progress every day. Finch parents work together to setup nests. It is a small bird and so are their nests. They can put 3-4 eggs in one.

I was curious to know what happens inside the nest. I figured out a way. I stood on the edge of patio door from where I could raise my iPhone selfie camera and position it above the nest. It worked. I could see in there.

I googled to search for birds nesting and hatching process. There was plenty of information. Males and females work together to create nest. Then female lays eggs and incubates them. Male obtains food for the young who fly in 14-16 days.

For the first couple of days, there was nothing in our bird’s nest. Then eggs appeared on the 4th day. I did not look inside for several days as mama was sitting on eggs all the time. Papa bird was also hanging close by.

A few days later, mama started flying around. I suspected something has changed inside. I saw an opportunity one day and looked. Eggs had hatched and there were three tiny babies inside. I could make out yellow beaks and some feathers. We were wondering how long it will be before they get big enough and fly away.

Then, one day, tragedy happened. A Blue Jay had discovered the finch nest. Blue jays are known for raiding nests.

My neighbor saw him first and called me to tell that a blue jay is lurking and may attack the nest. I tried to put a protective screen around it, but could not do it. There was no way to attach it without disturbing nest. So, we just sat on the patio to keep an eye on the predator. But we couldn’t do it forever.

Blue jay waited patiently. After we left patio, he attacked the nest. He grabbed one baby and took it away. Other two were also wounded and lying in there. I was horrified and really upset. I took the nest down and buried it. Mama bird came and sat on a branch close by. She kept staring where the nest was and cried for the longest time. She kept coming for 2-3 days, looking for her nest. Her wailing was really disturbing. Then, she was gone.

I myself could not sleep for several days. I felt helpless and frustrated that I couldn’t save the babies. It reminded me of the time almost nine years ago when I had to let my beloved cat, Princess, go. She was eighteen years old, and the time had come for her.

My neighbor tried to comfort me. He has been a farmer and has seen it all. He said, “Anil, this is the circle of life. That’s the way it goes. Move on.” And so I did.

But this is not the end of story, only a brief pause, then continuation.

After the tragic finch nest incident, I covered Wi-Fi basket with a flat top so that birds couldn’t get in it.

Therefore, I was surprised a few days later to see twigs dangling again from the top of my Wi-Fi basket! What is going on, I wondered. The basket was completely sealed with the flat top.

It seems, a Robin had this time discovered this spot and liked it to build her nest. Robin is a bigger bird than a Finch. Their nests are constructed different as well. They need to be sturdier to accommodate more weight. Robins add mud to their nests along with twigs to make them stronger. Also, they build their nests on a flat surface. Obviously, she liked this spot.

Once again, I started my daily watch to monitor the new nest’s progress. In a way, it was redemption – a second chance. It took Robin 3-4 days to build the nest. It was almost five inches high and four inches in diameter.

I googled to check Robins’ nest building process. I discovered that Robins build

nest in 3-4 days and then lay 3 to 4 eggs in it over a period of 4-8 days. I waited. I did not want to peak in too early, and wanted to be extremely careful in doing so.

About a week later, I positioned my iPhone selfie camera on top of the nest. I saw two beautiful blue eggs – the famous Robin’s Blue. The feeling is hard to describe, a combination of serenity, peace, and joy.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could live our entire lives feeling that way? I suppose it is possible if we really want to and can stay away from temptations and desires the world lures us into.

You must be wondering what happened next. Unfortunately, it did not have a happy ending either. One day, Robin just disappeared and didn’t come back. She had abandoned the nest. We don’t know why. Again, google research suggested that sometimes Robins do that, if they think eggs or the environment is not viable. We waited and waited. Finally, we had to take this nest down as well.

There are lessons too in this story. This is the reality of life. We cannot control its flow. It goes, the way it goes. It gives us moments of anticipation, excitement, joy, exhilaration, and heartaches as well at times. We can’t pick and choose. We have to take it all, the way it comes. We should not get too attached to anything. All comes and goes! Live every moment. Find peace in it. Enjoy it. We never know what may happen next.

Good night.

Good Old Memories

I had started writing a small blog post about my one week visit to Pench to see my friend Gary. But soon after I began, the flood gates opened and the good old memories started gushing out. My mind went back in time and I realized that I am, in fact, reliving the good old times, like a living dream. I did not want to wake up or stop. I let my thoughts flow and go wherever they would.

Old wines take time to mature. They must prove themselves and withstand the test of time. If they are truly worth their essence, they excel, and their taste is exceptional.

Sometimes it takes me a while to put my pen on the paper.  Either the business of life interferes, or the chaos of it tempers the mood.

I had a wonderful visit with Gary and Rashmi at their resort in Pench, from Feb 25 to Mar 5th this year. This was my 2nd visit there; the previous one was five years ago in 2019.  At that time, I had not seen them for almost twenty years.  We have been friends for a long time – since 1980. In 1984, our lives took different paths. But throughout the years we moved parallel like two stars in the galaxy, on their own trajectories.

Suddenly, we reconnected in April 2019. I had a phone call from another mutual friend, Sudhir Gupta. The three of us have a long and magical history. We truly lived in the good old days from 1980 to 1984.  Then our paths diverged. I came to America to resume my studies, and Gary and Sudhir got busy with their business ventures. I did not connect with anyone in India for 10 years, until 1994. Why did that happen? That is another story, for another day.

The Beginnings

Today, I am reminiscing about the good old days. In 1980, both Gary and I were working at Lintas in Mumbai as market researchers. Those were golden days. We travelled all over the country conducting marketing surveys. When we were in Mumbai, we enjoyed simple things like street food, old monk rum, or hanging out at 5-star hotels Oberoi at Nariman Point, or Taj Mahal in Colaba.  One of my favorites was Shamiana Coffee Shop at the Taj and their South Indian Brahmin coffee. There was something about that brew that was special. I am a coffee fanatic for over 50 years, but I have not been able to find the same South Indian Brahmin coffee anywhere again. That taste still lingers in my memory.

We hardly had any money those days. The research work we were doing was freelance and on projects basis. I did not pay much. But no one could have guessed it! We were living like princes on top of the heap, full of hope and promises, and amid the excitement of life.

Every so often, we went to Delhi on research projects. Gary’s wife Rashmi comes from there. Sudhir Gupta is her cousin. He lived at 877 East Park Road, Karol Bagh, in a beautiful old bungalow, facing a park. When we visited Delhi, Gary stayed there. This was an old family home inherited from the grandparents. It had a very nice roof top terrace to hang out. We often got up there in the evenings, had few drinks, and enjoyed the cool breeze. Sudhir’s dad and one of his brothers lived in that large house, and other family members often visited and stayed there as well. At that time, Sudhir was still studying in Delhi University at the Hindu College. We immediately took on to each other and formed a close bond.

From then on, 877 East Park became the center of our universe. Whenever we were in Delhi, all of us spent time together there. After finishing our business during the day, we got together in the evening. We spent many wonderful evenings there. We enjoyed lots of whiskey, kebabs, Rogan Josh, ghazals and laughs. Not a single care in the world.

Then, as always happens, things change. Here, it happened unexpectedly. The forks appeared in the road, and we all went in different directions. Gary and I did not have a permanent job in Mumbai.  Suddenly, different opportunities came for both of us. I ended up taking a job in Saudi Arabia, and Gary found an opportunity in Iraq. Sudhir also started his own ventures in India.

Anil 2.0

All this happened in 1982. I spent two years in Saudi Arabia. While there, I decided to return to school. I had always wanted to earn an MBA degree but couldn’t do it in India for various reasons. This time, I decided to pursue it in the USA. I applied to many universities there and was accepted in several. I ended up coming to the University of Wisconsin at Whitewater in 1984. This ended up being a turning point in my life. It was, as though, one life was ending and a new one was beginning. It was the beginning of Anil 2.0. 

I arrived in the USA on August 23, 1984. I landed at the Chicago airport. From there, I took a bus to UW-Whitewater campus. It was a difficult transition to return to school as a freshman at age 31, after already having lived a working life for many years. But I was committed. There was no going back. I burnt my canoe. I had to succeed. I cut off contact with everyone in India and my previous life.  I did not go back to India for 10 years, until after completing my studies in 1992 with a Bachelor in Marketing and a dual MBA in Decision Support Systems.

I had made plans to visit India in the summer of 1994. I had a good job with US West, a major telecommunications company in Denver, Colorado. I had already booked my airline ticket.  Then, 10 days before I was to arrive in India, my dad passed away. I had not seen him in 10 years.  We had a lot of unfinished business and issues. They probably would never have been resolved anyway, but it was a very sad ending, nonetheless.

I moved on with my life. I immersed myself in my work. I got married and settled in the Silicon Valley in California. I worked there for 20 years until 2016. At one point, I was regarded one of the best database marketing experts in the country.  My work was well rewarded. Now it was time for a change, again. Everything was changing. Internet was firmly embedded in business. New technologies were replacing the old ones everywhere. Web marketing was replacing the good old direct marketing as well. Google and Facebook had appeared suddenly and were now everywhere. It was time for change.

Another Chapter Begins

Now, it was time for another big decision.  I had just turned 63.  Should I continue working or change course and do something else.  Perhaps, move to another place with a slow pace, travel, pick up a hobby or something. I have been studying the subject of happiness and positive psychology for a long time.  Maybe do something in that area.

My wife and I decided to leave California and its fast pace of life.  In October 2016, we returned to Wisconsin, where I had started in 1984 and my wife comes from.  Having lived my entire life in the big cities and hectic pace, I was getting used to the slow pace of life and open spaces of a small town.  I took up gardening and learned to grow different vegetables, herbs and flowers.  I started enjoying listening to the birds every morning. I was enjoying change of seasons.  Time kept moving. 

I also began spending more time in India every year.  Instead of a few weeks, I was now spending a few months there.  But I do not spend much time in Delhi anymore.  Other than my family, I do not have any friends left there.  All of them seem to have moved away.  Instead, I spend more time in the South.  I go to Kerala every year.  I do annual ayurvedic body cleansing routine and massage therapies at Poonthottam Aurvedasram or other such places.  I also spend a few weeks on the beautiful beaches in Varkala.

I have another dedicated post on Varkala on my blog. Varkala is a very special place. At least, I feel that way. It is a throwback from the hippie days of the 60’s. It is a small seaside village, set on a cliff about a half-mile long, facing the Arabian Sea. There are many oceanfront restaurants and cafes. People come here from all over the world. Some are annual regulars. They come from Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Finland, Morocco, Israel and other places. I have made many friends there over the years. When I am there, it reminds me of James Michener’s book, The Drifters. Experiencing counter culture and in a world of our own. You really have to read the book to fully understand. Nonetheless, I have been enjoying it for many years. Sadly, even that also seems to be changing. Now, hundreds of young people hop on trains from Chennai or other cities on the weekend and descend like swarms of locusts on Varkala. They spoil the tranquility. I will still continue to go there, until it gets really bad

Few years ago, I had met Farhad Cariapa on one of my ashram visits.  We liked each other and got to be friends.  Farhad owns a coffee estate in Coorg, the birthplace of coffee in India.  Sometimes I go there to visit with him.  Coffee estate visits are quite an experience, especially for a coffee lover like me.

Reconnecting with Gary

Now, getting back to that fateful day in 2019 – I got a call from Sudhir Gupta in Delhi.  I was surprised because he hardly ever calls.  We had reconnected in 1994 in Delhi on my visit there after 10 years and had kept in touch.  On this call, after a few pleasantries, he said, Gary is here.  I said, oh!  I was quiet for a moment, then I asked Sudhir – I don’t know why – “how old is he now?”.  Sudhir laughed and said, “Gary says, I am younger than you, you bastard!”.  He handed over the phone to Gary.  We talked for a little while.

He told me that he now lives in Pench.  He owns and runs a resort called “Machan” in the Pench Tiger Reserve Park. He invited me to visit there.  I promised to do so and went there a few months later. 

Pench 1^st Visit 2019

My first visit to Pench was in November 2019 for five days.  Gary came to Nagpur airport to receive me.  When you have not seen someone for a long time, you naturally wonder what they look like now.  We were meeting after 20 years.  We must have immediately noticed that we look a little different.  Gary has always been very handsome.  In early 80’s, he had great wavy hair and debonair personality reminiscent of Omar Sharif and Gary Cooper.  He still retained the same elegance and physique but was a little thinner on top and dawned a beard.  All the thoughts of appearances vanished in moments. As soon as we spoke the first words, the reconnection was complete, as though we had never missed a beat in twenty years.

We arrived at his resort a few hours later.  There I saw Rashmi.  She did not seem to have changed much.  Time has been kind to her.  She had retained the same trim and beautiful appearance.  The same thing happened again.  We reconnected instantly as though no time was lost.  I spent five wonderful days there.  Gary arranged a Tiger Safari for me.  We were accompanied by several staff who arranged and laid out a royal picnic.  It was a memorable visit.  We promised to do this again, soon.

Pench Visit 2025

The ‘soon’ took another five years.  I visited Pench this year from Feb 25 to Mar 5th for a week.  My flight was very early in the morning.  Gary sent a car to pick me up from Nagpur airport.   I arrived at his place a couple of hours later, with anticipation and excitement.  We met again, hugged and picked up where we had left off five years earlier.

Gary had set me up in one of his best cottages at the resort.  I settled in, cleaned up, and then we met for lunch in his residential quarters.  Rashmi was there as well.  We started catching up since my last visit.  A lot of water has flown in the river since.

Gary told me that they have made some new friends and have gotten very close to them. They are about the same age as us and they get together with them almost daily.  They are Jagmohan and Amrit Sethi.  I will be meeting them soon.  They will be joining us for dinner.

Sethis arrived a few hours later.  They are a very distinguished and elegant couple with a great sense of wit and humor.  I discovered something else in common very quickly.  Mr. Sethi is also a fan of Urdu poetry, like me.  Living in America, I very seldom come across anyone to share Urdu poetry with.  It is an art form that needs to be enjoyed in company in repertoire.  Soon we were exchanging Urdu couplets back and forth.  Gary served fine drinks and kebabs.  It again brought back memories of good old times in Delhi in the 80’s.  Evening progressed leisurely and concluded smoothly.  We planned on connecting again the next day.

Wellness Center Inauguration

My friend Gary and Sethi belong to Sikh community.  Sikh community is known to be the most philanthropic and charitable sect in the world.  Service to the community is ingrained in their faith, beliefs, culture and practice.  It is an essential part of their daily lives and rituals.  Also, they serve everyone, especially those in need, without any restrictions or regard to their religion, caste, creed or culture.

Gary and Sethis were starting a community wellness center in their area.  The next morning was the opening ceremony for the facility.  We went there in the morning.  The priest had come to perform puja and bless the new project.  It is very comforting to participate in such activities.  It nourishes the soul.  After the ceremony, we came back to the resort.  We enjoyed a sumptuous lunch with Gary and Rashmi in their cottage and then I retired for siesta in the afternoon.

Mahendra Godbole Visit

We got together again around 5 pm in the evening.  Gary had told me that there will be a small get together a little later.  They had invited another friend, Mahendra Godbole, to join us for the evening.  Sethis will also be there.

There are over 50 resorts in the Pench Tiger Reserve area.  Mahendra had opened one of the earliest ones there.  Gary and Rashmi are good friends with them.

Mahendra and his daughter Nivedita arrived a little later.  He is a very soft spoken, very respectful and mild-mannered man.  Nivedita works with gourmet teas.  I have been a connoisseur of fine teas and coffees for a long time.  Among teas, some of my favorites are Darjeeling first flush, Jasmine Pearls, Lapsang Souchong, and Pu-erh, which is known for its healing and digestive properties.  When I mentioned Pu-her, his daughter was surprised and said that I am the first person she has met who knows Pue-ehrs.

Gary, as usual, was the perfect host.  We enjoyed several rounds of drinks, kebabs, and शेरो शायरी. The evening progressed and concluded on a beautiful and slightly tipsy note.  Godboles invited us to their place the following evening.  We all agreed and called it a day.

The Coffee Ritual

I have been a lifelong connoisseur of coffee.  My love affair with coffee began way back in 1968 or so at the Indian Coffee House in Connaught Place, New Delhi.  (There is a separate post on my blog on that subject). Anyway, that affair intensified after coming to America and gaining access to coffees from all over the world.  My absolute favorite is Yemen Mokha, which is difficult to get these days due to political instability in the region.  I also like coffees from Indonesia, Costa Rica, Guatemala, as well as India varietals Mysore Nuggets and Monsoon Malabar.  I usually get green coffees and roast myself to my personal intensity preferences.

So much so, that when I travel now, I carry my whole coffee paraphernalia with me – best coffee beans, grinder, dripper, pour over filters, USB kettle, and even my favorite coffee mug.

I invited Gary to join me in my morning coffee ritual. He came over around 9:00am. I brewed Ethiopian Guji Natural and we enjoyed a mug of coffee together. The coffee was great, but only symbolic.  What we really enjoyed was our togetherness.  We continued this ritual, uninterrupted, for the rest of my stay there.

Visit to Godboles

Next day, we went over to Godboles in the evening.  It was a little after sunset.  The light was just fading out. They had set up tables outside under trees.  Colorful lanterns were hanging from the branches, as if for a celebration or a festival. The air was fragrant.  We started with drinks, refreshments, and pleasant conversations. Then we had a sumptuous dinner.

After a while, the party moved indoors. Mahendra Godbole loves music and singing.  He has a karaoke room set up. He performed a few of his favorites. We all enjoyed the easy flow and leisurely evening.  After a while, we marked one more down for the memories and then said goodbyes.

Sonia, Kabir and Uday

Sonia is Gary and Rashmi’s daughter. I first saw her in 1980 when she was maybe three years old, soon after I had met Gary and visited their home in Bandra, Mumbai.  It was the beginning of our lifelong friendship, and it just took off from there.

A year after the first meeting, Gary and Rashmi moved to Delhi and settled at 877 East Park Road. I spent a lot of time and many evenings there. I often stayed there as well on my visits to Delhi, even though my own family lived not too far away. Sonia was a delightful and beautiful child. Everyone loved her. I remember putting her on my shoulders many times and spinning around. Those were great days.

In 1984, I left India for USA.  On my way to Chicago, I stopped in London for three days.  Rashmi and Sonia were also in London at the time, visiting family.  Rashmi’s brothers are settled there.  I visited with Rashmi and Sonia for a few hours.  Then I carried on to the USA.  I would not see them again for another ten years, until 1994, as I had stayed away from India all that time.  I saw them a few times after 1994 on some of my visits to India in following years. 

Then, life moved along.  Sonia got married.  I was graciously invited but couldn’t attend.  In time, she had two sons, Kabir and Uday.  I had seen her once more when Kabir was probably 3-4 years old, about the same as when Sonia was when I first met her.  I lost touch with them again for many years and didn’t see them for a long time.

As it happens, Sonia and her sons had also planned to visit Gary and Rashmi at the same time as I was there.  So, our visits coincided.  They were arriving the next day after me.  When you have not seen someone in a long time, you wonder how they might have changed.  Soon I saw them.  The big surprise was seeing the boys.  They are now grown up young men, engaged in their own global ventures in online education.  It was a very pleasant reunion.

Pench Tiger Safari

Gary had arranged a safari for all of us the following day.  Weather was just right these days for Tiger sightings.  All of us left for the Safari early next morning.  This would be my second experience, first being on my last visit there in 2019.  Safari is about a three hours ride in the forest on designated routes.  A Guide accompanies each group.   There are a number of Guides in the park and they have their own communication network.  If anyone spots a tiger somewhere, they let the others know the location so that others can get there as well and hopefully see the tiger or leopard.  It’s a hit or miss.

We were fortunate on this day.  Soon, a message came of a sighting.  A tigress named Laxmi had just killed a wild boar and was moving the kill.  We managed to get there in time.  We saw the tigress, but not the kill.  That was ok. 

It is interesting that we the humans find killing experience exciting and entertaining, even though it’s the way of life for animals.  I will leave it at that, without pondering further.

We had a nice picnic through the middle of Safari.  I was just enjoying the forest experience.  This is about as close as we get to being in touch with nature.  After picnic, we started our trek back home.

Another Evening with Family and Friends

I realized afterwards that it was a farewell get together of my trip, though it was not planned that way.  Evening was beautiful.  The temperature had cooled down a little with some nip in the air, perfect for warming up with a nice drink. 

Gary’s family and I met by the pool.  Soon, Amrit and Jagmohan Sethi came over and joined. We had a wonderful evening.  We enjoyed a few drinks, great food, and easy conversions.

Then it was time to call it a day.  This was my last evening there.  I was leaving for Delhi the next day. 

Last Day

Next morning, we did our Coffee ritual.  Then, Gary had some errands to run.  I was hoping to visit with Sethis once more before leaving, but that didn’t happen.  My flight was early in the afternoon.  I started packing and putting my stuff together.

Last day of leaving friends are always difficult.  Somehow, time seems to stall.  As if mind wants to stretch the time to enjoy it for as long as possible.  At the same time, parting is painful.  You want it to be over with quickly.  I had started pacing back and forth an hour before departure.

Finally, the moment arrived.  Gary’s family got together to bid me goodbye and wished happy travels.  We took a few last-minute pictures.  They turned out really good too!  Another chapter and a few more memories to add to the book of life.

We promised to keep in touch and visit again soon, as and when destiny makes it happen.  Until then I have memories of this visit to cherish.